And just like that, Summer went

I have a colleague in my program who, in June, will describe how it means that fall is just around the corner, which means the year is almost over and we'll soon be in 2020. The time jumps are both hilarious and incredibly anxiety-producing, but I love the process all the same. Yet, at the same time, as our program's orientation started today (and signaled the first week of classes), I can't help but wonder: where did the summer go? 

​In some ways, I had a fantastic summer. I celebrated dear friends who graduated, cheers'ed at birthday dinners, visited my family, coordinated a wedding, attended a different wedding, ate cheese curds, tried to like deep dish pizza (*cough, thin slice is still supreme), and more. I flew out to new cities, visited old friends, went to Korea, and the list goes on. 

But in other ways, my summer was not-as-fantastic. I had moments of crippling anxiety in conducting my dissertation, with the soft whispers of imposter syndrome as I began the job application process, and the endless loop of cleaning and organizing as forms of "productive" procrastination. 

Fall is now here— for some on the semester system, it's been here. I didn't accomplish nearly half of what I had hoped during the summer, but I am thankful that I tried out a new system to detox from the productivity-guilt mentioned in a previous blogpost. Since then, to stay organized, I replaced my miles and miles of to-do lists (that I never accomplished and because of that, felt like somewhat of a failure) and instead, created a FOCUS(to-do)list with 4-5 bullets max. Did I still have a gigantic list of things to do? Yes, but on Trello where I didn't stare it in the face every day. I also made sure to mark major deadlines on my GoogleCalendar. But for the most part, this focus-list helps me feel accomplished each day and excited for the next, because I know I can complete the tasks at hand. It's been a nice shift in perspective I'm hoping will keep up past 2020, which means by then we'll be in 2030 and then 2050~