This year has been rough for a variety of reasons, both for myself and for my peers. Many of us went (and are still going) through the job market. We are writing and finishing our respective dissertations, applying for grants, teaching sections/classes, creating conference proposals, and on and on and on. And through it all, are the spikes of anxiety, the overwhelming feelings that we are imposters, and different manifestations of our stress.
What I've noticed through personal reflection and observing my peers, is that a lot of us probably fall under the category of "anxious yet highly functional." I'm sure there's a more accurate, scientific term. But what I've seen and experienced within this idea, is how we'll go through cycles of extreme stress that manifest into highly productive/functional behavior on paper— cleaning our apartments, baking, writing blog posts (wink!), bullet journaling (wink wink!), starting a new hobby, etc.— that make us look accomplished... and yet, we're not progressing with the actual thing that causes the stress.
The reason I point this out, is because... well in all frankness, the work will still get done. My favorite phrase that my peers and I trade as comfort is, "You're gonna push through... because you don't have a choice." And it's hilarious, pithy, not-sympathetic, and yet an oddly comforting sentiment that we're gonna get it, because we have to. And in the meantime, check in with your friends. Including/especially the ones who look like they're doing great: because productivity and functionality is never a proxy to wellness. I spent this week doing the checking-in and as well as being checked-in, and I'm grateful for all the conversations on both ends~
Having spent 2019 intentionally reading Womxn of Color, I'm carrying the same intention into 2020. Check out my bookshelf of some of my faves and send me recs!
When I'm trying to concentrate, I like having background music that's super dramatic. For some reason, instrumental music is instrumental (pun!) in helping me concentrate. Most of the songs are Korean-drama OSTs (original sound tracks), w/ a few classical music scores in the mix!
I don't categorize anything other than my "random round-ups" because it takes too much work (insert laughing emoji).