I had a meeting with my advisor today. Prior to our meeting, our program asks us to fill out a "mentoring form" where we reflect on the year, achievements, goals for the next year, etc. During our meeting, while we talked about this form, she asked me point blank:
WHICH JONES ARE YOU TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH?
The question, was based on the multiple times I had written in the form, that I felt "not competitive." She asked me to name names: who were the people I kept comparing myself to? And in that moment, I realized I couldn't name any. They were all figments of my imagination-- an amalgamation of my own insecurities and a person I would never measure up to...
I don't know if I'll ever get over imposter syndrome-- and from all the TedTalk videos I've watched, it doesn't seem like it's something to "get over," but the conversation, and this question was a much needed reminder, and somewhat of a relief, to realize I was competing against an impossible me.
Having spent 2019 intentionally reading Womxn of Color, I'm carrying the same intention into 2020. Check out my bookshelf of some of my faves and send me recs!
When I'm trying to concentrate, I like having background music that's super dramatic. For some reason, instrumental music is instrumental (pun!) in helping me concentrate. Most of the songs are Korean-drama OSTs (original sound tracks), w/ a few classical music scores in the mix!
I don't categorize anything other than my "random round-ups" because it takes too much work (insert laughing emoji).